


Life Goes On

by Imaginary_Jo



Series: Good life and tragedy [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Death, Heavy Angst, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:28:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imaginary_Jo/pseuds/Imaginary_Jo
Summary: “I miss you, so fucking much. Our daughter makes my life a bit better, I don’t really know what I’d do without her if I’m being honest.”
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Series: Good life and tragedy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757155
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	Life Goes On

**Author's Note:**

> Really angsty, if you get triggered don't read. You've been warned. If there's some misstakes then I'm sorry, English isn't my mother language.

“Are we there yet?” Mickey looks at his six year old redhaired daughter Eleanor and smiles.

“Not yet kiddo. Remember that we have to stop by the red lights and then I have to drive just a little bit more and then turn left. It’s not that long.” He gives her a last look before he turns his eyes back to the road, slowing down when the red lights gets closer. Eleanor leans back in her seat and huffs. She then looks down at her lap, picking up a folded paper. She opens it and looks at the drawing she’s made. She then looks up at her dad, biting her lip.

“Do you think daddy will like my drawing?” She asks. Mickey looks at her and then at her drawing. He gives her a small smile. He then ruffles her hair before he grabs the wheel again and starts to drive as soon as the light turns green.

“He loves everything you do sweet pea.” He says, smiling at the thought of his husband. Eleanor smiles and folds her drawing again and runs her hand over it. She then looks out through the window, watching buildings and trees pass by. She can’t wait to see her daddy and she can’t wait to give him his drawing she made at preschool.

Mickey turns the left blinkers on and turns the car and drives a little bit more before he sees the parking lot. He then parks the car and gets out before he helps Eleanor out too. He then takes her much smaller hand in his and they start to walk. Eleanor almost skips with every step she takes. Her red hair bouncing against her shoulders. The sun makes her hair almost look like fire, exactly like Ian’s. She then lets go of her dads hand and runs up to the gate, drawing in her hand. .

“Come on dad, hurry up!” She says and jumps up and down. Mickey chuckles before he opens the gate and she takes his hand again and Mickey just manages so close the gate before she starts to pull on his arm, wanting him to hurry.

“Alright, alright hold your horses now kiddo.” He says with a chuckle. She then lets go of her dad’s hand and runs up to the big stone. She sits down on her knees in front of it. Mickey stops and gives her a small smile, watching the scene in front of him.

“Hi daddy.” She says and smiles at the headstone. She then looks down at the folded paper before she slowly unfolds it. “I made a drawing for you today, my teacher helped me spelling our names. She’s really nice, she teach me new things everyday.” She then places the drawing against the stone, next to a bunch of flowers. The drawing is of her and her dads. They’re holding her hands and they’re all smiling. She smiles at her drawing.

“Yesterday me and Franny were at the playground, we went to the swings. We went up high, almost to the moon, that’s what Franny wanted. But she lost her grip and fell off, she cried and I helped her. I took her to aunt Debbie. Dad said I was a good girl because I helped her. I didn’t like to see her sad, she scrapped her knee a bit, but it’s fine now. Aunt Debbie told me to say hi too.” She then pauses and looks down at the ground for a short moment. “I miss you daddy. Dad has been teaching me how to ride a bike. I can do it now. I wish you were there to see it.” She then smiles. “But I think you saw it from heaven, dad says you see everything I do. Sometimes I cry because you’re not here anymore, dad says it’s okay to cry…I know he cries sometimes too, I think he’s trying to hide it from me but I’ve seen it.” She then stands up and runs down to her dad. “Dad, can I go down to the little river?”

“Sure, just be careful.” She nods and runs down the little hill to the little river.” Mickey looks at her for a short moment before he turns to the headstone himself. He sits down cross legged and folds his hands.

“Hi.” He then looks down, blinking a few times before clearing his throat. “Eleanor is doing great in school, she’s very smart.” He then smiles a little. “I miss you, so fucking much. Our daughter makes my life a bit better, I don’t really know what I’d do without her if I’m being honest.”

**_1,5 year ago_**

_Mickey walks up to the Gallagher house, wanting to check on his husband before he’ll go and pick up their daughter Eleanor at the kindergarten. He’s been pretty low for a few days, but the Gallagher house is never empty so he’s been able to go to work without worrying too much. He opens the door and walks in and immediately sees Debbie in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee in her hand._

_"_ _Hi red, has Ian been up today?” Debbie looks up and smiles at him._

_“Yeah he was down for a short moment earlier this morning, maybe an hour or so after you left for work.” Mickey nods._

_“Alright, I’ll go and check on him before I’ll go and pick up Eleanor.” Debbie smiles at the mentions of their daughters name, she’s so loved by everyone in the Gallagher clan. He takes off his jacket before he heads up the stairs. What he sees when he opens the door was something he never thought he’d see. He can feel how his heart almost stops._

_“Fuck!” He screams as he throws himself down on his knees next to his husband. His wrist covered in blood. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He breathes out as he cradles Ian’s head, slapping him on his cheek. “Ian! Ian can you hear me?! Come on what have you done?!” He then panics when he takes a look at his wrists. “Fuck! Debbie! Debbie call 911!”_

_Debbie comes running and lets out a scream and covers her mouth with her hands, eyes wide. She then quickly runs into her room after her phone and dials 911 with shaky fingers._

_What feels like hours later, a doctor walks up to them at the hospital with heavy steps. He stops in front of Mickey and Debbie and sighs, shaking his head slowly._

_“I’m so sorry.” He says. Mickey’s knees gives up and he collapses down to the floor. Debbie quickly follows and wraps her arms around him. Tears running down from their eyes. “I’m here if you need anything.” He says before walking away from them, letting them be alone for a moment._

_Breathing suddenly becomes harder for Mickey and it feels like he can’t get any air at all. He clutches at Debbie for dear life and lets out heartbreaking sobs._

_After a long while Mickey remembers Eleanor, how is he supposed to get her from the kindergarten? And fuck he was supposed to get her hours ago._

_“Fuck how am I supposed to get Eleanor? I should have picked her up hours ago.” He sniffles and rubs his red eyes. Debbie takes a few calming breaths._

_“I can pick her up, I’ll explain to her teachers. I also need to call the others.” Mickey slowly nods pinching the bridge of his nose as new tears are about to come. Debbie wraps her arms around him and hugs him tightly before she wipes her eyes and tries to collect herself enough to be able to drive to pick up Eleanor._

“I hope you know that I’ve never blamed you, I was so angry at you for a while though. I don’t know, life goes on somehow I guess.” He then wipes away a tear that’s slowly running down from his right eye. “It’s hard though, it’s really fucking hard. But I have Eleanor and she’s seriously the light of my life nowadays. She’s so much like you.” He chuckles. “She’s so stubborn, just like you, and she sees the good in everyone, just like you always did. You’d be so proud of her.” He then stands up. “I love you so much, and I miss you.” He then looks down at his left hand, the ring is shining in the sunlight. He then hears how his daughter is running up to him.

“Dad, can we go and get ice cream? Please.” He turns around to face her and smiles at her before picking her up, making her squeal and laugh.

“Sure thing kid, let me guess, you want strawberry right?” He can almost see how Ian would have shaken his head at the thought of their daughter getting ice cream during a weekday.

“Yes! I want hundred ice creams.” She says and throws her arms around her dad’s neck. Mickey only lifts an eyebrow at that, which makes her laugh even more. She then looks down at the headstone. “Bye daddy, I’ll come with a new drawing next time.” Mickey gives her a watery smile and kisses her cheek. Then he lifts her up on his shoulders, which makes her squeal again and laugh. She then places her palms on his forehead and leans her chin on top of his black hair.

“Alright let’s go and get some ice cream then.” Mickey says and start to walk towards the gate.


End file.
